Lance, Becka, & Kayla

Lance, Becka, & Kayla

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Moving Forward

Once again we (Lance & I) have come to and through a crossroads in our life together as one.

We were told about a month ago that the "first round" of medication did not react the way it was suppose to with my body. The doctor wanted to do another round "differently". This meant another month of waiting and more money. This also meant we never even made it to the retrieval or transfer stages.

Lance & I decided that we did not feel it was right to place anymore time or money into the doctor.  So, we chose to stop with IVF and move forward. This had to be the most difficult decision we have made together so far. To us this means that we are done with the doctors. We are never going to revisit IVF. Even as I type these words it is hard on my heart to handle, but I know we chose right.

Now where are we moving forward to? That is a great question. We really don't know, and honestly I am so unsure it scares me when I think about it all. The things that we do know is that this experience brought us closer to each other and that we still love each other. As Lance likes to say, "This is just another test."

Will we continue to do foster care? Eventually. Right now we are taking a break from everything and just being us.

Will we ever adopt? The answer is the same as before...If God presents it to us in His timing, then we will open our heart and home.

I know many did not agree with us doing IVF, but it wasn't your decision to make. In this journey we have found peace in knowing that God's plans are bigger than our plans AND peace in knowing that IVF was not our journey to complete.

Thank you all for the prayers and continued prayers. God has a plan for us even though we may not see it now, but I know my God and I know He never fails in His promises.

~ Becka

Sunday, March 3, 2013


Peace comes in many different forms. Peace signs, peace of mind, Peace: Not War...

This week we received peace of mind. Did we receive understanding? No. I believe we will never understand the things that happen in our lifetime here on Earth. Our understanding will come when we enter the gates of Heaven. Although I know I personally have a list of things I want to ask God, I believe I will forget them when I am forever standing in His glory.

A few weeks ago I was pouring my heart out to my preacher's wife about everything going on with the I.V.F. and my concerns. She brought to my attention that no matter what we would find peace in the outcome. We would have the peace of having our own biological child or peace in knowing that we tried everything we could with the doctor. 

The peace we received this week is that we have peace in knowing that we tried everything we could with the doctor. 

We are done trying to have our own child/children. Yes, I have peace and yes, my heart is broken. I know God has a plan for us. Right now I feel like I'm not sure what that plan is, except to be the wife to my husband that God has shown me to be in His word. 

So... we keep running the race, because our prize is yet to come. 

Thank you for the prayers. 

Love to all,